Funny Love Quotes – Tagalog

Who says love is always like a drama? Love can be fun too, so if you are looking for Tagalog Funny Love Quotes?,  Below is our collection of Funny Tagalog Love Quotes and text messages that you can copy and send to your friends via text/sms or paste in your facebook or twitter accounts.

Funny Love Quotes Tagalog Collection

Funny Love Quotes Tagalog Image

  • Mahal daw kita? Weh?
    Close daw tayo? Owss?
    As in pa nga daw eh? Ngeek!
    Mahalaga ka daw saken? Talaga ha?
    Well. Oo, Baket may reklamo?
  • BOY: Kaya mong mapasabi sayo and salitang I Love You.
    GIRL: Sus! As ka naman. Sige nga try.
    BOY: Sabihin mo Blue
    GIRL: Blue
    BOY: Sabihin mo Love.
    GIRL: Love
    BOY: 20
    GIRL: 20
    BOY: Oh kitams! Nagawa ko. Nasabi mo din.
    GIRL: Eh wala naman eh. Nasaan I Love You dun?
    BOY: I Love You too!
  • Bakit di mo subukang ipa blood test ako?
    Nang malaman mong ikaw ang type ko…haha

Funny Tagalog Quotes

If you’re looking for tagalog funny quotes, search no more. Below is a collection of funny quotes that you will surely enjoy. Just make sure you’ll share them with your friends

Tagalog Funny Quotes Collection

  • Ka-akit akit ka taong nagbabasa, maamo ang mukha, malamlam ang mata, ngiti sa iyong labi kahali-halina, kutis parang sanggol, sanggol ng GORILYA!
  • Alam ko dami ka friends, joker ka kasi. Alam ko dami ka admirers, iba ka kasi. Alam ko daming nagmamahal sa iyo, cute ka kasi. Pero madami man sila, kapag UMUTOT ka, lalayo din sila
  • Siguro nga hanggang dito na lang ako. Siguro nga hindi na ako magiging sentro ng atensyon mo. Ok lang, masaya na akong nasa gilid lang ako ng paningin mo – MUTA
  • [Trivia] Alam mo ba… na ang PUKE ay synonymous to VOMIT?.. Ano ulit ang basa mo?! Hahaha 🙂
  • Alam kong may gusto ka sa akin. Bakit di mo pa ako seryosohin? Pero gusto ko malaman mo na hindi ako easy to get. Ngayong sem, gawin mo ang lahat para makuha ako. – UNO
  • Kapag nakatae ka sa classroom nyo, patunay lang yan na hindi ka ginugutom ng nanay mo.haha
  • Pila-pila lang. Walang tulakan. Lahat tayo makakalabas. – TAE … wahaha nagmamadali?
  • Bawat kabataan may karapatan. Karapatang gumala, umuwi anytime, makipagdate sa boyfriend or girlfriend. Magalit man parents mo, sabihin mo “Sa bahay na eto, ako ang batas” sabay takbo at sigaw “Joke lang Ma!”
  • You may be sitting all alone today. But believe in the magic that someone is meant to sit beside you soon. Tapos, pag puno na… Aalis na ang jeep! Ano ba akala mo? Tungkol na naman sa love? Hindi naman palaging ganon no! 😀 hehe
  • Whenever I text you, hindi ka talaga nagrereply. Kahit lang naman sana “Hi!”. Pero ok lang naman sakin yun. Ganyan naman talaga kayong mga cute eh. Galit kayo sa.. MAS CUTE sa inyo!
  • Funny tagalog love quotes

Funny Tagalog Jokes and Quotes

Are you bored? Looking for funny tagalog jokes and quotes and funny pinoy jokes? Search no more ‘coz you’re in the right place. Below is our collection of funny tagalog jokes and text messages that you can copy and send to your friends via text/sms or paste in your facebook or twitter accounts.

Funny Tagalog Jokes Collection

Wag kang malungkot o magdaramdam kapag ika’y nag iisa…sapagkat sa mata ng DULING….ika’y dalawa…tandaan mo, hanggat may DULING, di ka nag iisa!

  • Sabi nila: kapag nadapa ka, bumangon ka!
    Sabi ko naman: Paano kung nadapa ka sa hubad na katawan ng taong kinababaliwan mo?…
    Sige nga, babangon ka pa ba??!
  • Teacher: Ok class, Only Juan got 99/100…
    Juan: oha! Ano kau ngaun? Mamundok nlang kau! Magtanim nlng kau ng kamote mga bobo! Mga wlang pnag aralan,mga ubot ng tanga! bkt hnd p kau mgpkmatay?!
    Teacher: da rest got 100..basag!
  • Kung nurse ka, paano mo sasabihin sa pasyente na mamamatay na sya?
    Pasyente: Mamamatay na ba ako?
    Nurse: Nanunuod ho ba kayo ng Marimar?
    Pasyente: Oo.
    Nurse: Hindi nyo na ho matatapos

Funny Tagalog Jokes

  • Kapag may problem ka, lapitan mo lang ako, di kita iiwan.
    Yayakapin lang kita ng mahigpit, at itatanong ko lang sayo…“ano ba gusto mo?” … matador, Colt 45. emperador o red horse??
  • I dreamed of you last night, naka upo ka sa tabi ng ilog, sad and alone and mukhang mabigat ang loob. Lalapitan sana kita at yayakapin, pero bigla ka tumayo, at nag punas ng pwet! hehe
  • There was a turtle who fell in love with a cat..
    One day, the turtle visited the cat and said…”I love you with all my heart”
    The cat replied: “Kami na ni rabbit, ang bagal mo kasi!!
  • Scenario : Nasusunog ang Malacanang
    Guard : Mr. President dito po ang daan sa fire exit
    Erap : Gago, diyan nga dadaan ang apoy eh!

Tagalog Filipino Green Jokes

Here’s another collection of tagalog jokes, but this time, with a hint of green-ness 🙂 . Tickle your friends’ imagination with these filipino green jokes

Tagalog Green Jokes Collection

  • Bata : Tay paglaki ko gusto ko katulad mo.
    Tatay: Ang bait ng anak ko, gusto rin maging doctor.
    Bata : Hindi tay!! gusto ko rin tirahin si YAYA!!!
  • DALAWANG LASING ANG SABAY UMIHI.
    Lasing 1 : Pare, sobra ang tigas ng TITI ko, Uuwi na ako at yayariin ko muna si Misis.
    Lasing 2 : Sasama ako sa iyo.
    Lasing 1 : Baket?
    Lasing 2 : E, sa akin ang yang hawak mong TITI eh !!!!
  • Bakit natatakot bumaba ang mga babae sa jeep sa kanto ng TINIO st, sa San Pablo?
    Answer: Kasi ang sigaw ng driver “O yun bababa, KANTO TINIO NA”!!!!!
  • BF: BlowJob mo ako Hon..
    GF: Di ako marunong Hon..
    BF: Madali lang, para ka lang nag sisigarilyo.Hititin mo.
    GF: Ganun!? Palalabasin ko din ba sa ilong?
  • Madre: ano apelyido mo iho?
    Sakristan: Alam nyo na po yun sister! lagi nyo po yun hinahawakan..
    Madre: Susme! BAYAG apelyido mo?
    Sakristan: Sister naman… ROSARIO po!!
  • After having sex, panay pa rin hawak ng girl sa organ ng lalaki..
    BOY: Gusto mo pa ulit ?
    GIRL: Hinde… Namimiss ko lang.. Meron kasi ako nito dati ehh…
  • INA: Hindi ba bilin ko sayo, kapag hinipuan ka ng bf mo sa dede say DONT! Kapag sa pepe say STOP! Bakit nabuntis ka ?
    ANAK: Sabay po kasi hinipo eh,. kaya sabi ko DONT STOP !
  • More tagalog green dirty jokes

  • Nakakasalat
    Sakristan: Father, may libangan din ba ang mga Pari?
    Pari: Oo, naman, pag dating ng hapon, kaming mga pari dito sa bayan ay naglalaro ng Mahjong.
    Sakristan: Bakit po naman Mahjong pa ang napili niyong laro?
    Pari: Kasi, dito lang kami nakakasalat ng flower, Iho!
  • Boy Libog sees his mon licking his father’s balls
    BOY LIBOG : Ano gawa mo mommy?
    MOM : Kain lang mommy ng bola bola
    BOY LIBOG : Takaw naman ni mommy. may bola bola na may lumpia pa!!!
  • Boy LIbog sees his wife giving birth to their child.
    WIFE: Hoy, tulungan mo ako dito!
    Boy Libog came ang struck his penis inside his wife.
    BOY LIBOG: Anak, KAPIT !!!

Pinoy Jokes

Pinoys are fun loving people.. this is evident by exchanging tagalog jokes and pinoy jokes thru texting and emails. Make your friends laugh by sending these tagalog jokes and pinoy jokes.

Pinoy Jokes Collection

  • Ano english ng ‘Baka masuwerte ako’? … ‘Beef Lucky Me’
    Ano english ng ‘Masuwerte ako Inay’? … ‘Lucky me mami’
    Ano english ng ‘Masuwerte akong lalaki?…’Lucky me with egg’ 🙂
  • PASYENTE: Magkano mag pa face lift?
    DOCTOR: Yung complete treatment, PHP145,000.00
    PASYENTE: And mahal! ano ba pinakamura para mag mukha akong bata?
    DOCTOR: Eto Tsupon, 20.00 lang!
  • Boy Abunda: Kung ihahalintulad mo ang iyong sarili sa isang kasangkapan sa bahay, ano ka?
    Mahal: Kachi chimple lang ako ticho boy…Chiguro chupa, mahilig chalaga ako cha chupa…ancharap kachi minchan machulog cha chupa… 🙂
  • Juan to Poso Negro Services on the phone:
    Juan: Hello, Good Morning manong, humihigop po ba kayo ng poso negro?
    PNS: Yes sir, bakit po?
    Juan: Masarap?? 🙂

More Pinoy Jokes

  • Sabi nila, Love make your heart beat fast…
    Your Body feel flushed with excitement, and your mind go around in circles…
    Love kaya yon?!
    O gutom lang?!! 😛
  • During the cremation: All the relatives stood in silence. Everybody was silent till a child suddenly asked out of curiousity…’Ma, hindi pa ba luto?’
  • Did you know that:
    – Cockroaches have fingers and nails?
    -rats are visual learners?
    -ball pens in the earlier times are used as needles in making umbrellas?
    -the saliva of an ostrich is used in making cheese?
    Galing no?
    lahat yan, imbento ko lang hahaha! 🙂
  • Limit your sex life. Do it only on days that start with letter ‘T’
    Tuesday,Thursday, Today, Tonite, Tomorrow, Tatorday, Tanday, Taumaga, Tatanghali, tagabi, tahapon 🙂

Funny Kowts (Quotes)

Looking for funny kowts (quotes)? Search no more ‘coz you’re in the right place. Below is our collection of funny tagalog kowts (quotes) and text messages that you can copy and send to your friends via text/sms or paste in your facebook or twitter accounts.

Funny Kowts (Quotes) Collection

  • It was an ex-PBB housemate (1st batch) who said this: “Big Brother, ginagawa po nila ako laughing stuff…”
  • My friend and I were walking up the stairs of our schools new bldg. She said out of nowhere: “Imagine mo kung di ginawa ‘tong bldg, umaakyat tayo sa hangin?”
  • Nadia Montenegro promoting her movie: “Please watch ‘The Life Story of Julie Vega’, opening na po on the twenty-twoth of November.”
  • In a burger joint I heard a man say: “Miss, isa ngang ‘amusing’ aloha at saka ‘kidney’ meal.” Server: “Dine in po ba or to go?” The man answered: “Ayoko ng sago!”
  • I was making cookies at home when I ran out of cookie sheets, so I called our maid and said: “Manang bili ka nga ng cookie sheet.” And she replied: “Ano po, solo o litro?” (coke is it)

More Funny Tagalog Kowts (Quotes)

  • My friend said: “Ang galing ‘no, yung Ash Wednesday last year , Miyerkules din pumatak!”
  • A non-Christian vendor selling a Last Supper painting: “Ma’am bili po kayo ng frame, maganda po ito, ‘Hesus and Company.”
  • While watching “Apollo 13?, after she heard the line: ” Houston , we have a problem.” My ex-girlfriend asked: “Sino si Houston ?”
  • My aunt was going to the US for the 1st time. She told us: “Nagpapabili ang tita niyo ng ‘autistic’ guitar. Saan ba nakakabili nun?”
  • I once heard an emcee say: “Let’s give her a warm of applause!”
  • Barker ng bus: Ah Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao!!!” Pasahero: “Boss, Cubao?”
  • An officemate of ours told us a story about driving alone in her car: “Alam niyo, pag nag-iisa ako, feeling ko…wala akong kasama…”
  • I had a customer on the line who had a password on his account. I asked for the password but he forgot. I gave him a clue: “It’s a 4-digit number.” He answered, “Uhm…’ROCKY’ ?”
  • I overheard a lady place an order at Starbucks: “One cup of chino please.”
  • An officemate once asked: “Saan sa Quezon City ang Mandaluyong?”
  • I had a meeting with a friend and I noticed that both of us were wearing stripes. He suddenly blurted out: “Uy, stripes din! It’s the color of the day!”
  • When I saw that I got a missed call, I said, “Hey, I got a missed call!” My friend said, “Anong sabi?”
  • We were reviewing for an exam and we were already dead tired. A classmate said, “Hala, brownout!” Pagtingin namin, nakapikit pala siya.
  • A call center agent told a foreign customer regarding the changing of the due date of her credit card: “Ma’am, I already changed your monthly period.”
  • A home economics teacher asked us: “How do you make wet floor and tow duff?” Translation: “How do you make wheat flour and tough dough”.

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