Short Funny Stories

Thinking of something to do during your idle time? Looking for short funny stories to spice up your boring day? Search no more ‘coz you’re in the right place. Below is our collection of short funny stories that you can read or send to your friends email to make them smile too!

Short Funny Stories Collection

  • A GOOD PIECE OF HUMOUR
    A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily in Toronto . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
    One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs.. She didn’t know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.
    Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn’t know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.
    On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store…
    ..
    ..
    ..What were you thinking?

    Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English!
    What u smiling for – get back to work….

  • A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?””What dear?” She asked gently.
    ..
    ..
    ..
    ..
    I think you bring me bad luck.
  • ( FUNNY JOKE ) Does Management know their Staff ?On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of theCompany noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.He approached the young man and calmly said to him, “How much do you earn?”The young man was quite amazed that he was asked suchA personal question, he replied, none the less, “I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?”Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed$6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, “Around here

    I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty!

    Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don’t come back”.

    The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.

    Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner,

    “And that applies to everybody in this company”.

    He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, “Who’s the young man I just fired?”

    To which an amazing reply came – “He was the pizza delivery guy , Sir!”

Funny Chain Letter Stories

Funny Chain Letter Stories

  • A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic Married couple little restaurant.Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.

    She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’

    The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.’

    The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

    The husband thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.

    I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.’

    The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.

    So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!..the husband became 92 years old.

    The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female…..

    SEND THIS TO A WOMAN WHO NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH …. AND TO ANY MAN WHO CAN HANDLE IT!

  • Text Quotes and Text Messages 0576: Funny Love Story

    This is really funny..

    How to Stay Married

    A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They
    had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had
    kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a
    shoebox in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband
    never to open or ask her about. Continue reading “Text Quotes and Text Messages 0576: Funny Love Story”

    Text Quotes and Text Messages 0524: Sad Stories / Chain Email

    This was sent to me thru our mailing list… I could not really bear to read the story upon reading even the first paragraph.. well, I continued reading it till the end anyway…

    I really can’t help but to shed a tear… later, when I arrive home, I’m really going to embrace my mom!

    Please read and send to your friends

    This is entitled … I love you Mom Continue reading “Text Quotes and Text Messages 0524: Sad Stories / Chain Email”

    Text Quotes and Text Messages 0521 – 0523: Chain Letters and Stories

    I keep on receiving a lot of chain letters and emails from our mailing list. So here they are I’m posting them here…

    The Duck & the Devil

    There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.
    He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.
    He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target.
    Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner.
    As he was walking back he saw Grandma’s pet duck.
    Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square inthe head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved!

    In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile; only to see his
    sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.
    After lunch the next day Grandma said, ‘Sally, let’s wash the dishes’
    But Sally said, ‘Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.’
    Then she whispered to him, ‘Remember the duck?’
    So Johnny did the dishes.

    Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing andGrandma said, ‘I’m sorry but I need Sally to help make supper.’
    Sally just smiled and said, ‘Well that’s all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help’
    She whispered again, ‘Remember the duck?’ So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.
    After several day of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally’s; he
    finally couldn’t stand it any longer.
    He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.
    Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, ‘Sweetheart, I know. Yousee, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you.’

    Thought for the day and every day thereafter?

    Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done… And the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) …whatever it is…You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing.

    He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He’s just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.

    The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness;
    He not only forgives you, but He forgets.
    It is by God’s grace and mercy that we are saved.
    Go ahead and make the difference in someone’s life today.
    Share this with a friend and always remember:
    God is at the window!
    When Jesus died on the cross; he was thinking of you!

    More Chain Letters you can send to your friends

    More Chain letters and E-mail to follow

    Chain Letters and Emails

    Looking for chain letters that you can email your friends? Search no more ‘coz you’re in the right place. Below is our collection of chain letters and emails that you can copy and email to your friends.

    Chain Letters Collection

    • It’s been said that God first separated the salt water from the fresh, made dry land, planted a garden, made animals and fish… All before making a human. He made and provided what we’d need before we were born. These are best & more powerful when eaten raw.  We’re such slow learners…God left us a great clue as to what foods help what part of our body!God’s Pharmacy! Amazing!   A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye… And YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All of the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopene and are indeed pure heart and blood food.Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

      A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums.  Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

      Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.

      Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don’t have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

      Avocados, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female – they look just like these organs. Today’s research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this?  It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).

      Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.

      Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics

      Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries

      Oranges,Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

      Onions look like the body’s cells. Today’s research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

      SUBJECT: Psalm 46:19 ‘Be Still and Know that I AM GOD’

      Please don’t break this even if you only send it to one person. Look at the date when this was started. Thanks NOTICE AT THE END, THE DATE THE CANDLE WAS STARTED. GONNA GIVE YOU GOOSE BUMPS. I am not going to be the one who Lets it die. I found it believable —Angels have walked beside me All my life–and they still do.********************* This is to all of you who Mean something to me, I pray for your happiness. The Candle Of Love, Hope & Friendship This candle was lit on the 15th of September, 1998.Someone who loves you has helped Keep it alive by sending it to you. Don’t let The Candle of Love, Hope And Friendship die! Pass It On To All Of Your Friends and Everyone You Love! May God richly bless you as you keep this candle burning.

      More Chain Letters to come, you cana even mail them through your emails 🙂