Text Quotes and Text Messages 0521 – 0523: Chain Letters and Stories

I keep on receiving a lot of chain letters and emails from our mailing list. So here they are I’m posting them here…

The Duck & the Devil

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.
He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.
He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target.
Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner.
As he was walking back he saw Grandma’s pet duck.
Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square inthe head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved!

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile; only to see his
sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.
After lunch the next day Grandma said, ‘Sally, let’s wash the dishes’
But Sally said, ‘Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.’
Then she whispered to him, ‘Remember the duck?’
So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing andGrandma said, ‘I’m sorry but I need Sally to help make supper.’
Sally just smiled and said, ‘Well that’s all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help’
She whispered again, ‘Remember the duck?’ So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.
After several day of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally’s; he
finally couldn’t stand it any longer.
He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.
Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, ‘Sweetheart, I know. Yousee, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you.’

Thought for the day and every day thereafter?

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done… And the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) …whatever it is…You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing.

He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He’s just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.

The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness;
He not only forgives you, but He forgets.
It is by God’s grace and mercy that we are saved.
Go ahead and make the difference in someone’s life today.
Share this with a friend and always remember:
God is at the window!
When Jesus died on the cross; he was thinking of you!

More Chain Letters you can send to your friends

More Chain letters and E-mail to follow

Funny Tagalog Jokes and Quotes

Are you bored? Looking for funny tagalog jokes and quotes and funny pinoy jokes? Search no more ‘coz you’re in the right place. Below is our collection of funny tagalog jokes and text messages that you can copy and send to your friends via text/sms or paste in your facebook or twitter accounts.

Funny Tagalog Jokes Collection

Wag kang malungkot o magdaramdam kapag ika’y nag iisa…sapagkat sa mata ng DULING….ika’y dalawa…tandaan mo, hanggat may DULING, di ka nag iisa!

  • Sabi nila: kapag nadapa ka, bumangon ka!
    Sabi ko naman: Paano kung nadapa ka sa hubad na katawan ng taong kinababaliwan mo?…
    Sige nga, babangon ka pa ba??!
  • Teacher: Ok class, Only Juan got 99/100…
    Juan: oha! Ano kau ngaun? Mamundok nlang kau! Magtanim nlng kau ng kamote mga bobo! Mga wlang pnag aralan,mga ubot ng tanga! bkt hnd p kau mgpkmatay?!
    Teacher: da rest got 100..basag!
  • Kung nurse ka, paano mo sasabihin sa pasyente na mamamatay na sya?
    Pasyente: Mamamatay na ba ako?
    Nurse: Nanunuod ho ba kayo ng Marimar?
    Pasyente: Oo.
    Nurse: Hindi nyo na ho matatapos

Funny Tagalog Jokes

  • Kapag may problem ka, lapitan mo lang ako, di kita iiwan.
    Yayakapin lang kita ng mahigpit, at itatanong ko lang sayo…“ano ba gusto mo?” … matador, Colt 45. emperador o red horse??
  • I dreamed of you last night, naka upo ka sa tabi ng ilog, sad and alone and mukhang mabigat ang loob. Lalapitan sana kita at yayakapin, pero bigla ka tumayo, at nag punas ng pwet! hehe
  • There was a turtle who fell in love with a cat..
    One day, the turtle visited the cat and said…”I love you with all my heart”
    The cat replied: “Kami na ni rabbit, ang bagal mo kasi!!
  • Scenario : Nasusunog ang Malacanang
    Guard : Mr. President dito po ang daan sa fire exit
    Erap : Gago, diyan nga dadaan ang apoy eh!

Emo Quotes – Tagalog

Below is our collection of  tagalog emo quotes and text messages that you can copy and send to your friends via text/sms or paste in your facebook or twitter accounts.

Emo Quotes Tagalog Collection

  • Sabi nila maLi daw ang mgmahL LaLo na kung daLawa..Dpat ka daw mamiLi ng isA..
    Pero paanu ka pipiLi?
    Kung nanghihinyang ka sa tagaL ng samhan nyo ng una..
    sAmantalang nahuLog ka ng gnUn kbiLis s pangaLawa??
    aLin nga bA ang mas mAtimbang,
    ang reLasyong matgal mo ng iniingAtan?
    O ang relasyong piniplit mong iwAsan?
    Ang pgmmhaL bng dAti ay sya Lng?
    O ang kaLigayang nadAma mo sagLit Lang, pero ayW mo ng wakAsAn??
  • Mahirap magmahal ng palihim, nasasaktan ka na pero wala kang magawa kung hindi itago pa rin. Pero hindi ba mas masakit kung pag-aralan siyang limutin gayong ikaw din pala ang taong minahal niya ng palihim?
  • Masakit kapag ang taong mahal mo walang oras sayo? Masakit pag nakita mo sa iba may oras siya. Hindi ba niya naisip na nawalan ka rin ng panahon sa iba ng dahil sa kanya :c
  • Kapag magmamahal ka, huwag kang pakasiguro na ganun din siya. Huwag mong isipin na sayo lang siya. Huwag mong akalain na totoo siya dahil baka di mo alam, mahal ka lang niya pag sa TEXT lang.
  • May mga taong gago, may mga taong tanga… Pag nagmahal ng taong ayaw sayo, gago ka. Pag hindi mo alam na may nagmamahal sayo, tanga ka. Alam ko gago ako pero sana hindi ka tanga.
  • Mahal ko siya pero iba na mahal niya. Inaagaw ko siya pero ayaw niya na. Ano ba nagawa ko? Nagmahal lang naman ako a!
  • Mahal ko siya pero pinagpalit niya ko! Sigurado hindi niya alam nararamdaman ko! Siya ang langit at mundo ko! Pano kaya kung mawala siya? Makakaya ko ba?
  • Walang aasa kung walang magpapaasa kaya kapag wala ka naman balak mahalin, huwag mo na kasing landiin.” kasi pag yan nahulog at nasaktan lang sayo, madadagdagan nanaman ang mga emo.

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Tagalog Filipino Green Jokes

Here’s another collection of tagalog jokes, but this time, with a hint of green-ness 🙂 . Tickle your friends’ imagination with these filipino green jokes

Tagalog Green Jokes Collection

  • Bata : Tay paglaki ko gusto ko katulad mo.
    Tatay: Ang bait ng anak ko, gusto rin maging doctor.
    Bata : Hindi tay!! gusto ko rin tirahin si YAYA!!!
  • DALAWANG LASING ANG SABAY UMIHI.
    Lasing 1 : Pare, sobra ang tigas ng TITI ko, Uuwi na ako at yayariin ko muna si Misis.
    Lasing 2 : Sasama ako sa iyo.
    Lasing 1 : Baket?
    Lasing 2 : E, sa akin ang yang hawak mong TITI eh !!!!
  • Bakit natatakot bumaba ang mga babae sa jeep sa kanto ng TINIO st, sa San Pablo?
    Answer: Kasi ang sigaw ng driver “O yun bababa, KANTO TINIO NA”!!!!!
  • BF: BlowJob mo ako Hon..
    GF: Di ako marunong Hon..
    BF: Madali lang, para ka lang nag sisigarilyo.Hititin mo.
    GF: Ganun!? Palalabasin ko din ba sa ilong?
  • Madre: ano apelyido mo iho?
    Sakristan: Alam nyo na po yun sister! lagi nyo po yun hinahawakan..
    Madre: Susme! BAYAG apelyido mo?
    Sakristan: Sister naman… ROSARIO po!!
  • After having sex, panay pa rin hawak ng girl sa organ ng lalaki..
    BOY: Gusto mo pa ulit ?
    GIRL: Hinde… Namimiss ko lang.. Meron kasi ako nito dati ehh…
  • INA: Hindi ba bilin ko sayo, kapag hinipuan ka ng bf mo sa dede say DONT! Kapag sa pepe say STOP! Bakit nabuntis ka ?
    ANAK: Sabay po kasi hinipo eh,. kaya sabi ko DONT STOP !
  • More tagalog green dirty jokes

  • Nakakasalat
    Sakristan: Father, may libangan din ba ang mga Pari?
    Pari: Oo, naman, pag dating ng hapon, kaming mga pari dito sa bayan ay naglalaro ng Mahjong.
    Sakristan: Bakit po naman Mahjong pa ang napili niyong laro?
    Pari: Kasi, dito lang kami nakakasalat ng flower, Iho!
  • Boy Libog sees his mon licking his father’s balls
    BOY LIBOG : Ano gawa mo mommy?
    MOM : Kain lang mommy ng bola bola
    BOY LIBOG : Takaw naman ni mommy. may bola bola na may lumpia pa!!!
  • Boy LIbog sees his wife giving birth to their child.
    WIFE: Hoy, tulungan mo ako dito!
    Boy Libog came ang struck his penis inside his wife.
    BOY LIBOG: Anak, KAPIT !!!